Who is God, Really?
kiikii
Who is GOD? Really...
I believed I knew God, or so I thought, until life took a dark turn.
2020, COVID hit, and my Dad died. I cried to God, "How could You do this to me? How can You claim to love me, yet You let such bad things happen to me? If the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have done such a wicked thing to You." I was so angry and bitter because I knew God existed. I had experienced Him in my life, and I knew there was God, but my perspective about Him had changed drastically. I felt betrayed and deceived, questioning what was true and what was false. It seemed like everything I had learned about Him was a lie. After a few more sad incidents and a very long period of reflection, I resolved to discover for myself who God truly is.
As I sought Him, He introduced Himself to me in Exodus 34:6-7
Yes... I knew all these verses, but what did they mean? What had I been missing all these years?
Then I said, I wanted to hear from God. I wanted to know Him more. I asked Him to help me, and He did.
I went to my Bible (the first place you go when you are serious about wanting to know God more). I began to study the Gospels, and the chapters and verses felt remarkably different from what I had read before. I realised that I had overlooked how deeply Jesus loved God the Father. Not only did He love God, but so often He affirmed God's immense love for us, too. He would say things like:
"Therefore, do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ 32For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them.";
OR "What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will [instead] give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will [instead] give him a snake? If you, then, evil (sinful by nature) as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give what is good and advantageous to those who keep on asking Him."
OR then the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says! And will not our just God defend and avenge His elect, His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay [in providing justice] on their behalf? I tell you that He will defend and avenge them quickly.
Didn't sound anything like the God I was experiencing at the time.
Anyway... I kept reading, but no inner change until I decided to start at the beginning. I decided to read the book of Genesis.
As I read, I began to see God in a completely different light. The first pages of my Bible introduced me to this magnificent being who created everything, and just like me, after creating a beautiful piece, He seemed to be super excited about the outcome of everything He had made. The Bible says, "God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good and He validated it completely." That didn't sound like some cruel, heartless God. Instead, it revealed a warm side to Him. As I read on, I also saw an attentive and caring God who saw man's need and met it without him even expressing or probably understanding it himself. Despite the company of the animals, none of them were quite "suitable" for him. So God decided to "get back to the lab" and make him a companion in his own image, suitable for him. Exactly what Adam needed.
Then came the fall of Man in Genesis 3, where as a result of sin (disobedience) God punished the serpent, the Woman, the Man and even the ground (which, besides, was cursed because of Man's actions). Yes, this was the God I recognized—the one who punishes. The One who cast Man out of the garden to prevent further transgressions. This is how I had always interpreted Genesis 3, but suddenly, a verse (Gen 3:21) I had never noticed before struck me:
"The LORD God made tunics of [animal] skins for Adam and his wife and clothed them".
The Lord did what now? How did He even think of clothing those sinners? Sinners who couldn't even apologize for what they had done. Only a loving, gracious and merciful God would do that. From there, I began to see a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness and faithfulness. I began to see God in Scripture for who He says He is in Exodus 34, for who He really is.
In the coming weeks, I will be writing more about the beauty of God and His character as described in Exodus 34:6-7.
Until next time, friend, stay nerdy and attractive! ;)